rottenflesh-and-brokenbones:
when I was little, I went through a phase where I’d wear my Spiderman costume under all my clothes, so I wore it for about 3 years straight and my mom never found out until one day when we were at a family party, I was wearing the costume under a really fancy and expensive dress, and someone started choking on something so I ripped off the dress to reveal the costume to try and save them, and I think my mom just about had a heart attack
(via gray-gryphon)
imderekhaleandmyfamilyisdead:
i bought a plant yesterday
i figured that i could set the bar low and eventually relearn the art of “affection”
i named the potted plant laura 2
i woke up this morning and found nothing but a mess of soil and a note that said “OFFICIAL IOU: thnx 4 the weed bro” in scott’s handwriting
i’m not sure if i’m more upset over losing laura 2 or the fact that scott can’t decipher between cannabis and premature hydrangeas
shesdonejim:
pick up line: let’s watch star trek
(via assguard)